A Drop Of Whisky In The Wind
by GypchiEndeavors
Summary: “He-hello?” “Who is this?” “I… you… you wouldn’t know me. Is Usami-san home?” “No, he’s at work at the moment. Can I take a message?” “Yes, yes you can. Tell him his lover is back home.” One phone-call. Two men. One love. Two paths. Where will they go?
1. Rabbit in the Headlights

_The chapter name was inspired by Akihiko's nickname 'Usagi', which literally means Rabbit in Japanese and since he was caught red-handed- i.e. in the headlights. I really hope you guys enjoy this ^.^ Please review... and enjoy some more!!  
_

Akihiko screeched out of the garage, no thought left for the tire marks now made on the road or the steam that billowed behind his red sports car.  
Misaki was not home and he had a pretty good idea why.

He tried to take deep, calming breaths so as not to crash into the car in front of him at the traffic lights, but his knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel hard.

Before the light hit 'go', he undid his tie and threw it into the back seat. He felt like he was going to choke anyway without something snaked around his neck.

Oh, if only Misaki hadn't seen him with that drunk outside the house. It had been nothing. Nothing.

The sloppy suited, middle aged man had hobbled over to him and made out that he was such a fan of his BL novels, that he spent every night curled round them so that he was somehow closer to Akihiko himself. It had made Akihiko want to upchuck- the mere nerve of this so-called fan to come stumbling to his home in such a state.

He had laughed and told the mess to go away, but the mess had persisted and flung his arms around Akihiko's neck.

"Argh!" Akihiko's fist struck the dashboard as he came to yet another traffic light. He buried his face in his hands.

He was sure Misaki would had forgiven him so much sooner if he hadn't been late so many nights prior to the incident. Again and again, Akihiko had tried to explain to Misaki that it was work, that it was easier for him to stay in the Publishing House and write, then return home. Akihiko had told him he felt so relaxed at home these days, with him, that working seemed like such a fruitless task.

Misaki had seemed to accept this, grudgingly, but he knew he was only acting ok with it so that they wouldn't linger on the subject. It was a well-known fact to both he and Akihiko that their life at home was anything but relaxed.

Misaki would not sleep with him.

It was the frustration of this and the longing to feel the soft, nervous touch of Misaki's lips against his own that had made him answer the drunk's kiss. Of course, it was the moment Akihiko had slammed the man against the wall that Misaki chose the turn the corner and return home.

Akihiko kissed the man with all he had, jaw clenched hard as he tried and tried to imagine this man to be Misaki. He felt tears begin to scratch behind his eyes and bile begin to bubble at the bottom of his throat as he realised what he was doing.

So he had stood back and pushed the man away hard and turned around, panting and near to sobbing, cursing himself for being such a disgusting idiot.  
No matter how many times Misaki had pushed him away or scolded him for being nothing but a nymphomaniac, a paedophile, Akihiko loved him. No matter how scared he was that Misaki's denials were due to lack of interest in him and or a heightened interest in someone else, Akihiko loved him.

And he had just made out with another man.

Akihiko looked up at the traffic lights, urging with them silently to change colour against the purple night sky as he recalled Misaki's face when he had looked up after he had caught his breath.

Misaki's face had been stony, but expressionless at the same time. Shocked. Confused. Hurt.

And neither of them had made steps to move. They had just stared at eachother from either side of the road, both men embarrassed, humiliated and pained to see the other.

Oh, what had he done.


	2. His Muse, His Love, His Misaki

Akihiko pressed down on the accelerator as the traffic lights changed and turned the corner, guilt and anger lodged in the middle of his throat.

Akihiko would normally never have done something like this- his feelings for Misaki really were so pure and true that something of this nature was never even thought of. Never did he think he would kiss another man as long as he was with Misaki and for all he had wished, his relationship with the University student would be forever.

He slid down in the leather chair of his car as he entered the middle of the town, eyes flitting subconsciously against the crowds of teenagers and students that flooded through the streets. Outside the clubs, making out under trees, making their clumsy ways home, all of these adolescents were nothing against Misaki. None of them would have half the effect Misaki had on Akihiko.

A huge part of him yearned to hear Misaki's strained voice as he gasped for breath when they made love. _Usagi-san_...

Akihiko shook his head. For all he knew, he would never hear that nickname again.

Conscious of his hands shaking slightly on the car wheel, he drove smoothly down a ramp, got a ticket from the machine and parked in the unusually empty car park. He sat there, trying to get his thoughts balanced and in their proper places before he went out there and searched for his muse, his love… his Misaki.

Oh, yes. Misaki was his alright. He knew how insane it was to think he owned someone, but there was nothing more sane in Akihiko's world than the thought that Misaki was truly his. And he was damn near sure he had ruined it forever.

Why did Misaki so badly not want to sleep with him? Had he said or done something prior to the horrible incident outside his house two nights ago?  
It was normal for Misaki to resist Akihiko, to push him away and curse him. But Akihiko prided himself in being able to melt away that icy stubbornness.

Not anymore though.

It had been weeks, four weeks, since they had been so intimately close and pretty much all of Akihiko's concentration was set on working out why.

It was horribly possible that Misaki was bored of him. It was also possible, though maybe less so, that Misaki had found someone else. But Akihiko didn't want to let go.

In those past frustrating weeks, Misaki had still cooked for him every morning and night, left lunch out for him to take to work, done the laundry, cleaned the house. Retied Suzuki-san's bow… but he spoken less then twenty words to Akihiko, not touched him once aside from when Akihiko went to hug him and ruffle his hair. Akihiko had become scared when Misaki had slapped his hand away so spitefully.

He had tried asking him if he had found someone else, if he still loved him, if there was anything he should be sorry for. But Misaki appeared to ignore him and ate at the other end of the table in silence, before he cleaned both their dishes and went to his room- the room he had barely even been in since he had begun to live there four years before- and studied.

Akihiko had tried to be firm with him, angry with him. He had even begged at one point. But nothing would break through the ice this time, it seemed.

Akihiko's breath became uneven as he began to breathe through his mouth and he sniffed, holding back tears as he put a hand to his mouth. He could still taste the putrid, whisky soaked breath of the man.

If he hadn't felt so certain two nights ago that it was about to be ended officially between Misaki and himself then he knew he would have pushed the man away straight off. But the morning before, Akihiko had seen a packed bag in Misaki's room when he had gone to wake him. He had stood in Misaki's room for so long staring at the bag. Misaki had already left and breakfast had been left in the fridge for him. He had left so quietly Akihiko had not noticed.

A bitter sadness had embraced him and he sat at his computer all day at work, writing with an all too familiar, morbid and depressing style.

Akihiko got out of the car and walked up the ramp, putting on his glasses, hat, long black coat and scarf as he did so.

He kept his head low as he tried to recall the conversation he had overheard Misaki having last night in his room. He had said he would meet someone at a club in town. But which club had it been?

As he tried to remember it, the memory of when Misaki had crossed the road after seeing him kissing another man floated like thick gloop through his mind.

He had walked straight past him, punched in the number to get into the block and gone straight to his room. That was the last time Akihiko had seen him. But he knew Misaki had been there by the books that lay strewn around his room and the sounds of him walking around the house, going about his daily routine.

Akihiko swerved to the right as a group of teens blared an unfamiliar song and swayed almost right into him. The night was getting chillier and he hoped that Misaki had a coat or jacket of some kind with him.

Hands balled into fists deep inside his pockets, he looked up to his right as a blue sign flashed. _The Last Palm_- was that the club Misaki had spoken about?

"Oi, Misaki! They've arrived. Come on, come over here!" He knew that voice… Akihiko spun in the direction of the club, eyes scanning furiously over the heads of all the students that had manifested around the plank-wood floored room. It would have been pitch black in there if it weren't for the luminous neon lights that flashed around the room. There were no doors in front of the place, so it was easy for him to spot Misaki with another taller boy who was bending down and pointing towards the bar where three others were waving at them.


	3. Last Palm, Last Chance

Misaki turned around and looked straight into Akihiko's eyes instead of looking where Sumi was pointing. There was a distant smile on his face, like he had been smiling freely before but was unsure whether or not to keep it there now he had seen his lover standing there.

Akihiko didn't know what to do. So, childishly, he looked down and scuffed his shoe against the ground, nails digging into his palms as he kept his hands scrunched into fists.

All the air was punched out of him when he looked back up at him and he suddenly felt like an infant in the middle of a grown-up's party. Out of place. Out of time.

Out of Misaki.

Akihiko felt about ready to burst as he watched Misaki clutch as Sumi's silvery hair with one hand, stroking down the side of Sumi's neck with the other. Misaki did that to Akihiko when they were making love. The coloured lights flicked over Misaki's milk chocolate brown hair, showing off how soft and feathery it was.

No. That was enough. Akihiko told himself to barge in there and grab Misaki, pull him down the street and hurl him into the car like he usually did when Misaki was rebelling.

But his body was frozen and his feet weren't responding at all. He stuttered out a pathetic 'no' as the air caught in his throat and his eyes widened as Sumi looked right over at him. A smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. Of course. This would be the person Misaki would go to in order to hurt Akihiko. This was the boy who had tried and failed to steal Akihiko from him.

And then it was as if there was no one else in _The Last Palm_. They all vanished. Disappeared. Disintegrated into nothing. Akihiko didn't feel the men push past him. Didn't hear the laughter coming from everyone around him nor the music that blared out. Everything slowed down.

Misaki's feet raised from the floor a little bit as his lips parted.

Sumi looked away from Akihiko and slid an arm around Misaki's waist.

Misaki's face went closer to Sumi's.

Sumi's lips parted.

Misaki put his lips slowly over Sumi's bottom lip and clung at the collar of Sumi's shirt.

And that was it.

Akihiko's nostrils flared and his heart thrust out against his chest in hard bangs as something began to coil up tight in his stomach. One word flickered on in his mind: Mine.

He shot through the crowd, feet barely touching the floor as anger rippled through him, jealousy tagging along, an ugly possessiveness clinging to both as Akihiko watched Misaki's cheeks burn red in a yellow spotlight that zoomed past.

He grabbed the back of Misaki's jacket, ripping his lips from Sumi's, without even looking at him and nearly pushed him to the floor as he threw Misaki aside.

Taking a ready fist from his pocket he swung out at Sumi and bashed him on the side of the nose. Sumi cried out and fell to the ground, hand on his nose as his other arm stretched out behind him to soften his fall.

Akihiko didn't care if Sumi got back up or stayed there as he turned swiftly on his heel, nearly snarling as he grabbed Misaki's wrist and dragged him out of the club. Snickers and murmured sounds of shock echoed around him as Akihiko's hearing returned to him.

"Let go! Let go, you bastard! Fuck off!" With his last two words, Misaki wrenched his wrist from Akihiko's grasp but Akihiko was too quick and he grabbed his wrist again, pushing him in front of him as they came to the ramp. "Let me go!" More words than he had said in one go for the past month…

"Shut up," Akihiko said quietly, letting go of Misaki and pushing him again so he would walk down the ramp.

Misaki turned round to shout abuse but upon seeing Akihiko's face he gritted his teeth, choosing his words carefully.

"I'm not coming with you. So let me go now and we'll both walk away and forget this stupid affair."

"I said, shut up."

Misaki swallowed, breathing hard and attempted to walk right past Akihiko, but Akihiko closed his eyes and lazily pushed Misaki back round.

Misaki had no choice. He knew Akihiko was far stronger than him and would not give up. It would be easier for him to do as Akihiko said and listen to his pitiful begging before he left instead of trying to leave now.

So he did.


	4. Sticky Seconds

Misaki was surprised by the way Akihiko let him get into the car by himself and scolded himself for wishing just the tinniest bit that he had thrown him into the car like he usually did.

He folded his arms instantly as Akihiko slid into the car. For a minute, neither of them spoke. Both of them looked straight ahead at the wall in front of them.

Misaki's shoulders raised in those sixty seconds, flinching every time Akihiko took a breath. Why was his heart pounding so much? Why was it so hard for him to breathe? Why were his hands clammy?

"I think I need to explain myself." Misaki closed his eyes as Akihiko spoke, swallowing down his guilt. _I have nothing to feel guilty for, nothing. This is all his fault…_ he thought.

Akihiko waited for Misaki to say something, but as the seconds dragged on, he realised he was going to have to dominate this conversation for now.

"The other night, when I-" he took a deep breath. "When I kissed that man… I-It was nothing." _Nothing?_ Misaki thought. He looked down at the gearstick as Akihiko continued, off put by the way the older man's voice wavered. Akihiko was usually so confident and sure of himself. "He was a drunk claiming to be a fan of our… I mean, my BL novels."

"So you kissed him," Misaki hissed out very quietly. Akihiko jumped as the boy spoke and rubbed his thumbs together trying to get some feeling in his hands other than a painful numbness.

"He kissed me," he replied, pathetically. Misaki glared at the gearstick. "And I… yes, I kissed him back." Akihiko sighed, putting his forehead on the steering wheel and running a hand through his thick hair. "I hated every second of it."

"And let me guess," Misaki muttered, shrewdly "You imagined it was me the whole time."

"I tried."

"Stupid, pathetic asshole."

"You forgot disgusting."

Neither of them spoke for another long while. In spite of himself, Misaki broke the silence.

"W-Why did you kiss him?" He asked as he cracked his knuckles with one hand.

Akihiko, keeping his hand in his hair, turned his head to look at Misaki.

"I missed you. It was the only opportunity in weeks I had had to get somehow closer to you… or so I thought." Misaki's lips parted in shock as Akihiko choked on his words and began to sob silently, both of his big hands on his face. "And now," Akihiko continued, hands trembling and voice wobbling as he looked at his palms, letting tears roll down his wrists, "I'm further away from you than ever."

Misaki's eyelids drooped a little bit as he looked down at the glove compartment in front of him. It was killing him to see Akihiko cry like this. It felt like a very sharp nail was slicing down his heart as he heard his love's weeping and he clenched his jaw hard to stop his own tears falling.

"I'm right here, you bastard." _A futile attempt to let him know I'll always be there. That's why I stayed in your house. I couldn't leave you and let you crumble… not when you're the rock that keeps me sane…_Misaki thought bitterly.

Akihiko gasped a little as he tried to stop himself from crying. Misaki's shoulders sagged as he spoke.

"I need a smoke." And with that, he got back out of the car, grabbing his box of cigarettes from the pocket of his jacket he had thrown on the back seat.

Misaki sat in awe in his seat as Akihiko walked away. One minute he had been crying and the next he was gone, abandoning him like he didn't care a bit.

None of this would have happened if it hadn't been for that phone-call.

Misaki had been sitting in his room, reading, when the phone had started ringing. Akihiko had not been home yet, so Misaki had reluctantly finished the page and gone to pick it up.

"Hai?"

"He-hello?"

"Who is this?"

"I… you… you wouldn't know me. Is Usami-san home?"

"No, he's at work at the moment. Can I take a message?"

"Yes, yes you can. Tell him his lover is back home."

And with that, Misaki's world had shattered.

His lover? Wasn't that him? Wasn't _he_ the one who cooked, cleaned and allowed Akihiko to treat him so perversely?

After the initial shock, Misaki had laughed, passing it off as a spiteful joke.

"E-excuse me?"

"Tell him his lover is home," the man had repeated, clearer this time, which had only made the unbearable stabbing in Misaki's heart increase.

"H… hai," he had whispered, voice going slowly. Surely it was a joke.

Surely…

Misaki had then stubbornly refused to tell 'Usami-san' this news and had put the phone down with as much certainty as he could muster.

He had not passed the message onto Akihiko and for a day or so, Misaki calmed down, thinking it was simply a practical joke… although April's Fool's Day had been three months ago…

But then Akihiko had started coming home later and later and it only confirmed the nagging suspicions in Misaki's mind. Akihiko had found someone else.  
He returned home tireder than usual but happier at the same time. He had barely touched Misaki, barely spoken to him and whenever he did it was only to scold him for being so silent himself. Akihiko seemed to get more frustrated with Misaki every day, every hour it seemed.

Misaki had wanted to leave, but the image of someone else in Akihiko's bed with him… the thought of someone else touching his clothes or cooking his meals… it had brought him to tears. Painful, never-ending tears.

So he had stayed and continued with life as easily as he could. But every day it had felt like he was walking through mud, getting dirtier every second and less worthy as the mud got stickier.

And when Akihiko tried to touch him? Well that was like a knife. A sharp knife. Piercing through every point in his body, leaving a cold, ghostly stinging behind.

Every time Akihiko made a move to stroke his hair or hug him, it made Misaki squirm. Not like before. This was a different kind of squirming. He didn't want this Akihiko's arms around him when they had embraced another so intimately. He wanted his old Akihiko back. The one he had fallen in love with…

"Don't you dare!" Misaki jolted in his seat as Akihiko's voice bellowed out around him.

"Oh no, old man. First, you reject me and now you abuse me? You're not getting away this time." Sumi? Why was Sumi with Akihiko?

And then came the bang.

"Usagi-san!" Misaki cried out, instinct kicking in. The car door flew open as Misaki exploded out of the vehicle, hurtling towards the sound of the cruel laughter than resounded around the car park.

His head whirled as his eyes took in the sight of Usagi on the floor at the top of the ramp, the tall silhouette of Sumi standing over him.

Misaki paused for a moment as his eyes caught sight of the dustbin lid in Sumi's hand and then his whole body surged forward of it's own accord as Sumi stood back and lightly pushed Usagi's hip with his foot.

Usagi snow-balled down the ramp, building speed as the drum-roll of Misaki's heart began.


	5. Eyes Must Close In Order To Open

_**Bold Italic**_ for Usagi-san's. ^.^  
_Italic_ is for Misaki's thoughts ^.^

Enjoy!!  


* * *

"_Usagi-san!"_

Akihiko's head jerked to the left in his sleep as blurry recollections of the night flitted through his mind.

He was in that place between sleep and awake- asleep enough not to be completely aware of his surroundings, but awake enough to feel the cool, damp something on his forehead.

He winced.

"Usagi-san? Are you awake?"  
_**No**_, Akihiko thought. _**I must still be dreaming if I can hear his voice… say… that name**__._

"Usagi-san?" Misaki… that really was Misaki speaking to him. He sounded worried. What was wrong?

Akihiko coughed as his eyes opened slowly, eyelids heavy as he looked up into the concerned, sad face of a young, teenage boy… his teenage boy…

Before he knew it, Akihiko had rocketed up from lying down and flung his arms around Misaki.

"U-Usagi-san…" Akihiko could barely contain the happiness inside him- Misaki was not pushing him away.

He could feel tears pricking in his eyes as he felt the small, uncertain hand of Misaki on the middle of his back.

One side of him told him to lean back a little bit and kiss Misaki. But the other warned him to let go now, unless he wanted Misaki to run away again.

So, he let go and lay back down, resting his head on the arm of the sofa he had been placed on. He closed his eyes and then reopened them, struck instantly by the sombre expression on Misaki's face as he looked down at the floor of Akihiko's condo.

Oh, God. This was real. This was still life… those things had still-

"STUPID USAGI-SAN, STUPID, STUPID, BAKA!"

Akihiko raised both of his arms in front of his face to protect himself from the barrage of BL novels being thrown at him by the student.

"Misaki. Misaki. Misaki!" He gingerly caught Misaki's wrist again and stared hard into his eyes. Misaki didn't calm down. He threw the last book at Akihiko, but with much less force, tears dripping from his eyes.

Akihiko bit the inside of his bottom lip, pained as he watched the tears dot on the cushion Misaki had on his lap. Akihiko noticed then that his feet were also on this cushion.

How had Misaki gotten him here?

The last thing he remembered was Sumi. Sumi at the top of that ramp. What was it he had said that had caught Akihiko so off-guard?

Ah, yes.

"You've lost, old man," he had whispered. "You've lost- Misaki has been mine for over a month."

Akihiko closed his eyes instinctively as he recalled the fatal blow of something hard as it had whomped against his head.

And now he was here. How could he have gotten here…

"You drove my car! How could you have?! You don't even have a license! You could have crash-"

"Stop roaring at me! If you hadn't gone for a bloody smoke you wouldn't be lying here!"

"Well, if you hadn't been so bloody silent-"

"Don't you dare turn this on me! None of this is my fault. None!"

There was a painful moment as both of them held their breath, waiting for the other to explode and then they both simultaneously burst.

"You're the one with another man!"

The angry expressions on both of their faces flipped to confusion.

"M-me?" Misaki asked, pointing a finger towards his chest. "I saw you with another man. T-that's why I went to… to Sumi."

"Sumi said you'd been with him for a month, Misaki," Akihiko said, quietly, looking sourly down at the pile of books on the floor, their covers now bent from their falls.

"That's not true! I haven't touched anyone for a month! You're the one who's been messing around with some other idiot every night!"

"What? I was at work, Misaki. Work. I swear." Misaki pushed Akihiko's feet off his lap and sprung up from the long, leather sofa, index finger now pointing harshly out at Akihiko.

"You really think I'm that young and stupid, don't you! I saw you with him, two nights ago!"

"He was a drunk fan who forced himself on me. I've not kissed any other man bar him for four weeks." Akihiko glared up at Misaki, making it clear how very true that was.

"Oh, so you kissing another man is fine then?" He didn't give Akihiko a chance to answer. "Look, I know what you're saying is bullshit, anyway!"

Akihiko's eyebrows knitted together as he shook his head slowly in confusion. Misaki continued, a deflated look to his body as he voice barely left his throat.

"I… I got a phone-call the … well, weeks ago." He built his confidence back up so that what he said stunned Akihiko as much as it had himself. "It was a man- he told me to tell you your lover had returned."

Akihiko didn't move for a moment, then blinked. Then, much to Misaki's astonishment, he began to laugh, face in his hands.

"How is this funny?!" Misaki barked. Akihiko shook his head.

"Oh, Misaki. Really, I know how horrible it must be to see me laughing at such a time, but… but you must understand, to me that just sounds so, well…ridiculous." Misaki did not enjoy being ridiculed.

"Stop laughing at me, you stupid, old man!"

"I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing at the situation!" Misaki shot him daggers. "Oh come on, please. What would you do if our roles were reversed?"

"Well if you were where I am now," Misaki said, darkly, "I'm fairly sure you wouldn't be speaking to me at all. Probably go off in one of your little moods and never say anything to me or… touch… me…" Realisation hit him. "You thought I'd found someone else?"

Akihiko breathed out a little laugh and nodded, both his index fingers pressed to his curved bottom lip as the boy continued. "T-that's… why you hardly spoke to me. So…"

"So you weren't talking to me because you thought I was with someone else."

"And you were backing off because you thought _I_ had found someone else."

Silence.

"Y-you're not with someone else then?" Akihiko stuttered, uncharacteristically.

"No," Misaki whispered, staring over at the window on the other side of the room like it was the most hypnotising thing he had ever seen.

But he knew what the most hypnotising thing he had ever seen was: Lord Usami Akihiko. And he knew, _knew_, that the instant he looked back into Usagi's eyes, those deep violet pools, he would be hooked. He would never want to look away again.

And that was when it hit him: he was halfway to fulfilling Usagi-san's wish to fall deeper in love with him than he had at first. Even now, when he hurt so bad...

Misaki's heart swelled.

"So this is all because of a phone-call and my coming home late."

Misaki opened his mouth to correct Akihiko but closed it, stopping himself.

"Listen, goldfish," Akihiko said, nervously trying to bring a sense of humour into the room, "if you want to say something, now's the time to say it." His voice grew firm, making Misaki's back straighten. "Enough with the silence. We've had enough silence- even a dumb person would be screaming by now."

"You really didn't know that man?"

"No, I did not know that man. Misaki-" now Akihiko stood up, ignoring the numb throbbing in his left temple as he stood close to the boy- "I'm sorry. I don't think I will every be able to convey how much I resent that man's very existence."

"Usagi-san," Misaki reproached him, though his voice was still barely more than a whisper as he continued to stare at the window, at the scarlet sky.

Akihiko sighed and reached out a hand to stroke Misaki's cheek, but Misaki instantly flinched. Akihiko gritted his teeth, scolding himself, but then gaped slightly as Misaki looked at Akihiko's hand and then took it in both of his own small, slender ones.

Slowly, cautiously, Misaki brought Akihiko's hand back up to his cheek and his heart fluttered, his knees weakened and he gasped under his breath as the tips of Usagi-san's fingers skimmed over his cheek like the tip of a bird's wing. _Feathers_, Misaki thought.

When Misaki could feel Usagi's touch no more, the lingering tingle remained. But that was not nearly enough.

He swallowed and his gaze fell to the floor as he heard Akihiko's breath deepen, harden and Misaki knew he was restraining himself.

But even now, at this crucial point, Misaki was uncertain what he wanted to do. Maybe it was something about their unique bond- and Misaki would curse himself later on for his heartfelt but corny terminology- or maybe it was just his gut… but Misaki believed Usagi. Yet, at the same time, he desperately didn't want be used.

The hairs on the back of his neck glided up as Akihiko's body leaned closer to him and he hurriedly tried to erase the fantasies whirling in his mind, tried to distract himself from the soft, warm breath that danced behind his ear…_oh…_

"It's a new… a new day," Misaki managed to say, the rest of his energy spent on keeping his body from trembling.

_Feathers on my cheek again…  
_

_Usagi-san so close…  
_

Misaki's eyes closed as he body remained rooted to the spot, under the slow but assuredly-working charm Usagi was working on him.

"_Our_ new day, Misaki," he whispered, sending a cool rush of heat sizzling down Misaki's spine as Akihiko's fingers stayed pressed gently on his cheek, his mouth dangerously close.

_Eyes closed,_ Misaki ordered himself. _Keep your eyes closed!_

Akihiko's other arm almost wrapped around Misaki's waist and Misaki was curious as to why the man's strong arm was kept an inch from his body. Still holding himself back, was he?

"U-Usagi-san," Misaki spoke softly, his eyes closing a little tighter. He trembled for sure, this time, as Usagi-san groaned, low and quietly, right by Misaki's ear.

"No other, Misaki. No other. I promise you, I will never fall so low again," Usagi purred out, sincerely.

Misaki swallowed. He wanted to push Akihiko's arm around him, but something was stopping him- a thought.

_Am I being persuaded too easily?_

"Misaki…"

_Probably…  
_

"S…s-stupid Usagi-san," Misaki gasped as Usagi breathed slowly down the side of his neck.

_Being seduced too easily…_

"Forgive me?" Misaki's hands clasped into fists as Usagi's voice grew lower.

_That voice…so near…it must always be near…_

"Y-yes."

_He wasn't with anyone for a month. He was frustrated when he kissed that other man… Wouldn't I have been if I had been pushed away so hard for so long?_

Misaki thought he should probably begin to ask who this mystery man on the phone was. But Akihiko's sweet breath around him, blanketing him…

_Security…_

"Thank you." Usagi-san's lips brushed against his ear.

Akihiko began to wonder whether seducing this boy now was fair or not. But the intense expression on the boy's face made his heart hammer hard. Maybe just passing his hand down there…

_Usagi-san's hand moving… stomach flipping…ah!_

"Ah!" Misaki cried out as Usagi-san's middle finger traced up the zipper of Misaki's jeans, stunned by the shock of energy that followed Akihiko's finger as it moved down there.

"Would you like me to stop?" Usagi asked, genuine. But Misaki could hear the desperation in his voice- it wasn't like any other desperation you would recognise in any other person's voice. It was the timbre. The low yearning bass that stroked up from the author's throat.

"Baka…n-no." Misaki surprised himself with his next word. "Never."

"Never?" Akihiko asked- he needed to check, needed to know his love felt secure.

"Never." Misaki's voice wavered and the 'r' at the end of his word rolled out as he gasped, relieved bliss flooding over him as Akihiko's wrapped both his arms around him and kissed the top of his ear.

_Warm…safe…_

"Open your eyes," he whispered. Akihiko did not move as Misaki slowly did as he was told. But, as soon as Usagi saw those dreamy brown eyes look up at him, he bit at the teenager's ear, hard.

"Ahhhh!"

_Good pain, very, very good pain…  
_

"My name," Akihiko growled gently as Misaki felt the twinge at his ear increase and sizzle to every part of him. Akihiko tugged at the bottom of Misaki's t-shirt pointlessly, but the pull made Misaki stumble and both his hands rested on Akihiko's chest.

_His chest so near mine… can feel his heart…  
_

The teenager didn't seem to have heard him, so he repeated his request, pushing his hips into Misaki's. A lick behind his ear… and…

_Ah!  
_

"Ahh!"

Bite…

"Misaki," Akihiko begged, voice deeper as his big hands traced circles on his lover's back.

"Usagi… Usagi-san."

**_Y_****_es._**

_Usagi-san.  
_


	6. To See, Hear and Feel Me

Misaki followed Usagi-san into his bedroom, hardly aware that his feet were moving at all.

All he was aware of was the intense expression on Usagi-san's face as he took his hands and walked backwards up the stairs, never breaking eye contact.

_I could get lost in those purple eyes,_ Misaki thought.

Usagi-san seemed like he was in a world of his own and Misaki nearly tripped on the last step as Usagi-san's thumbs began to rub softly on the top of Misaki's hands. It sent shivers through his wrists and down his arms, over his shoulders and down his back and Misaki was certain Usagi-san knew the effect he was having on him.

When Usagi-san opened his bedroom door and stood back for Misaki to walk in front of him, there was a moment of tense uncertainty.

Misaki hadn't been in this room with Usagi-san for a month. The only time he had it was so that he could clean it.

Misaki's eyes glazed over as he looked over the mess on the floor- shirts and trousers strewn over all the toys that sat patiently waiting for attention; bags of all different sizes in any other free space.

"I was going to pack and leave," Usagi spoke, his voice deep as he faintly stroked down Misaki's back, lingering for a moment on his lower back before taking his hand away completely.

Misaki nearly choked- he didn't want to think about Usagi-san upset or to imagine him trying to pack and leave. Now was not the time for that.

Hesitantly, but with a sure goal in his mind, Misaki fixed his eyes on the hollow of Usagi-san's neck as his fingers moved slowly.

Misaki slowly undid his own shirt buttons, eyes never leaving Usagi's pale skin. Misaki shivered, slightly from the cold but mostly from nerves as he let his shirt float down to the floor.

The smallest of smiles graced Usagi-san's lips before he leaned down and, placing his hands gently on the teenager's chest, kissed him.

Usagi-san laughed quietly to himself in his head as he felt the boy's heart rate accelerate under his hands and slowly he moved his hands over Misaki's shoulders, stroking down between his shoulder blades as he intensified his kiss.

Misaki was lost for what to do as Usagi-san pushed into him with his hips and he let out a small moan as Usagi-san licked under his tongue with his hot one.  
Misaki's hands scrunched the older man's shirt as he responded by flicking his tongue over Usagi's causing him to growl softly.

Usagi began to turn, pushing Misaki into the room and as he closed the door, putting them in almost complete darkness, he stepped forward and put one of his own legs between Misaki's.

Misaki leaned back as he felt himself heat up and both his arms moved from Usagi's shirt to around his waist as Usagi placed one of his hands on Misaki's hip whilst stroking down the boy's cheek with the other one.

"Usag… Usagi-san," Misaki whispered, breaking away from the kiss for a second. Misaki watched as Usagi-san caught his breath and then opened his eyes slowly.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry. For everything. And I just wanted to say-"

"Misaki, please, no more words for today. I have waited for this moment-" Usagi-san stroked down the side of Misaki's neck- "This moment for what feels like a lifetime."

Misaki felt his breath go out of him as the mere sound of the man's voice caused him to tremble with anticipation.

"I… I love you, Usagi-san."

Misaki didn't care about whoever had called and claimed to be Usagi's lover. He didn't care about Sumi. He didn't care about anything else but the man whose eyes had widened at Misaki's words.

Usagi-san's tongue pushed deep into Misaki's mouth just as his hips ground into him, pushing him back on to the bed.

Misaki gasped, eyes squeezing tightly closed as he heard the clink of Usagi-san's belt undoing, heard the zipper unzip and then felt his stomach swoop as Usagi repeated the process on him.

In seconds, both of them were on the bed wearing only their boxers and both of them could feel how badly each of them wanted the other.

Misaki swallowed and breathed deeply through his mouth, heart beating faster and faster by the minute. He gasped again, louder, as Usagi licked down Misaki's throat, pressing his tongue into the hollow of it in time with his fingers, which were stroking over his hard on.

Misaki's hips instinctively raised as his back arched up as Usagi's stroking turned to rubbing.

_How,_ Misaki thought hazily_, am I going to get through tonight when I feel like I'm going to burst now?_

"Ahhh!" Misaki cried out as intense pleasure flooded through him, making his thighs burn and his head spin.

"Waited so long to hear you…taste you" Usagi-san muttered softly, nipping at Misaki's collarbone, "feel you, smell you…" Misaki shivered as Usagi's low voice caressed his skin.

Tingles shot through his chest as Usagi-san stroked one finger down the middle of Misaki's torso and then pulled at the elastic of his boxers.

_Take me now. Take me now._

Misaki bit the inside of his lip as Usagi pulled his boxers down completely.

Usagi-san stopped moving his body for a moment and Misaki opened his eyes in curiousity but then blushed as he looked down and saw Usagi staring down between his legs.

"See you... My, you really have built up without me, haven't you."

"No," Misaki lied, looking away from him and up at a bear shaped clock on a high shelf. Usagi's index finger stroked up the underside of his hardness and Misaki melted, hands squeezing hard on the covers on either side of him as he shook his head, still in denial.

"Turn around for me, Misaki," Usagi purred right against Misaki's ear.

Constantly blushing, Misaki sighed, breath shaking as he turned and then yelped, gritted his teeth and groaned as Usagi pushed into him suddenly. Spirals of pleasure spun through his body as Misaki heard Usagi groan too and grunt as he pulled back and then thrust forward again. It was sore, at first, to have Usagi in him again but soon he was filled to the brim with an undeniable yearning for more.

Usagi felt like he was a drowning man, reaching the surface gradually faster and faster as he pushed into Misaki's tight hole. He draped his arms around Misaki and stroked down his chest with the tip of his fingers, relishing the tremor that ran through the moaning adolescent. Oh how he had missed the warmth, the pressure, the passion of these sessions. Usagi weakened and leaned over the boy as Misaki tightened his hole on him, smaller and smaller.

His skin was burning, his breath sharp and his head spinning but Usagi kept going, kept pounding deeper and deeper. When he elicited a series of high pitched cries from Misaki, he closed his eyes and smiled to himself, making sure to keep the angle he was aiming but at a higher pace.

Misaki shook violently, his whole body wound up and ready to explode and he half whimpered, half moaned- loudly- and held onto the man's hand tightly as Usagi managed to hit a small but very sensitive part right inside him. Though in a state of torturous pleasure, Misaki felt secure and safe- he felt like he was in the place he was meant to be and he realised how much he had missed the erratic man. This thought added to the mountain of emotion which was building inside him.

Usagi hugged the boy closer to his chest as his body hinted to him that he was about to erupt and began to kiss the back of Misaki's neck hungrily, desperate for an outlet for the increasing tension in his body. The man let one of his hands fall to hold Misaki's hard cock and then proceeded to squeeze it slowly but very tightly. Misaki fell so he was leaning on his elbows now instead of his hands, overwhelmed by the intense pulsing of Usagi's cock inside of him and the crescendo of pulsing in his own cock as Usagi caressed it skillfully.

Misaki was going to faint, he knew it- how was it that Usagi always found a way to turn him into such a mess? It felt like there were sharp electrical currents flashing through him, shocking every nerve in his system.

"Usagi, I'm... I'm going to... Usagi!" Misaki was so close to cumming and he arched his back up as cascades of energy whirled inside him, fizzing through his veins.

"I love you, Misaki. I love you," Usagi chanted, nuzzling into Misaki's hot, damp hair and moving his hand faster up and down on his cock.

Usagi quickened his pace.

Misaki squeezed his asshole harder and harder.

Usagi gasped, cold sweat trickling down his chest and onto Misaki's back.

Misaki shivered and moaned and came, neck snapping back so his head was leaning on Usagi's shoulder.

Usagi came inside Misaki as he felt the boy's thick cum spill over his hand and his jaw stretched wide open in shock as even with his eyes firmly squeezed closed, his vision turned bright white and red.

"Usagi!" Misaki exclaimed.

"I love you, Misaki, I love you," Usagi whispered, hoarsely, into the boy's ear.

And then they collapsed.

Minutes later, after a brief period of shock and relief and gasping, Usagi pulled slowly out of Misaki and pulled the weakened teenager into his arms.

He rested his head into the crook of his neck and hugged him tightly. Reluctant to have any physical gap between them, Usagi embraced Misaki, a torrent of love rolling over him. He wanted the boy forever, wanted to protect him forever. And he would.

Misaki sighed, heart calming down slightly and tried to hold down the spring of happy tears that were welling up behind his eyes. He never wanted to leave. If the love he had for Usagi-san was a flower then it had bloomed wide in his chest and he felt like it would never wilt.

Bliss.

* * *

_Hey Guys- I've never written a full love scene before and I hope I've done a good job- but I would appreciate some constructive criticism about it. I also hope I haven't let Misaki and Usagi down =/ _

_Thank you for reading and sorry if it was bad!!  
_


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